As I was prepared to come home today, my team was assigned a task. Unscheduled, unplanned the task had the potential of escalating into a major crisis. I hate when I am made to do things unplanned because unplanned things can develop into major crisis.
As we struggled to complete the task, I was burning with anger inside. I was totally out of control with rage. Finally the situation reach such a level that I was trembling with anger.
Suddenly I felt little pain in my left arm. Pain in the left arm is associated with heart attack. I felt some uneasiness and blood was rushing in my brain. I panicked and I knew that I had to control myself and fast. The more I tried to control myself, the more I was becoming nervous. I told my colleague that I was feeling uneasy.
They made me sit down and offered me tea. I tried my best to divert my attention from the hot topic which by now was close to a solution. 20 minutes later when I was leaving office, my nerves had not cooled down. I was sure that my blood pressure had increased.
As I left for home, I tried hard to concentrate on different subject other than office and my wildly pumping heart. I dropped my friend mid-way and tried to calm my nerves.
I visited the doctor near my home to confirm that my blood pressure had increased. It had not reached the critical level but it was certainly more than normal.
I take my work quite seriously and it angers me when others inefficiencies affect my stability. But I do agree that nothing is more important than my health. I guess its a warning sign for me. I need to control my anger and need to realize that things will be the way they are and my anger will not change them in any way.
Today was my wakeup call and I need to be more cool in dealing with crisis. Hope I can control my emotions and anger myself.
It sure was a scary experience!