I have never been married. I came close to being married once but then things took an ugly turn. The next time I thought I was close but then fate took an ugly turn. Almost all my friends are married, almost all, not all.
I will be 32 years old in a few months and not married at 32 makes me a “loser”. Really! I can read that in the eyes of the relatives and people I know. Friends can be a little kind and may have a sympathetic glance. And then a person see what he wants to see and not what is the truth. But then again the truth can be worse than this. I am digressing here. This is certainly not about me, not entirely actually.
During my stay in Amsterdam, I would have tea breaks in my office with two of my colleagues, one a boy and one a girl. Both are married for quite some time. As life in Amsterdam for them revolved around their family, they would be telling a lot of their marriage stories. Nothing scandalous but normal marriage anecdotes.
They would enjoy telling their spouses stories and I would enjoy listening to them. These were not the first time I was listening to such stories. There have been other couples telling me stories. It was interesting to know how they met and how they adjusted to each other and what they like and disliked about each other. Every person likes to talk about his/her spouse with all the plus and minus point. They enjoy it.
Whatever may be the relation, each couple has a history, a story to tell. These stories may not be legendary and big drama but they do make some interesting stories. While listening to these stories, I always felt that these stories are never told. Maybe passed from parents to children but never told as stories are told.
I wanted to make them sit together and I would take my handycam and then they will talk and re-live the moment. If you seen “When Harry Met Sally” you will remember the different couple coming and talking about each other at regular interval. I wanted to make an extended version of that Interview with real couples, real people and I would call it;
“When Hari Met Shalini”
I have known a lot of couples, fortunately and unfortunately. Lately I am more surrounded by couples rather than singles. I guess except Mathew and few others in the short list, all are couples and all these couples have interesting stories. I don’t know all of their stories but I do know a lot of them.
I know a couple who married after years of courtship. I know a couple who just cannot stand each other but stay because of their children. I know a couple who separated just before they could meet. I guess then they are not a couple. I know a couple who met only once before getting married. I have a friend who went through four relationship before he finally settled down.
Not all couples stay together. I know atleast two divorces now. Two divorces in my small circle of friends is a bit too much but I have known a lot of abusive relationship earlier. Two still seem to be a small figure.
So what makes people click? What make the spark fly when “Hari” meets “Shalini”? Does love at first sight exists? What really happens after the point of “They lived happily ever after”? What makes a compatible couple? What makes two totally different people enjoy each other’s life?
I guess a lot of it depends on the people involved and understanding and adjustment.
My relationships had stared with friendship a bit like “When Harry Met Sally”. As I turn 32 all my attempts to stay single have really fallen apart. There is too much pressure. As I go through matrimony sites, I really cannot fathom the idea of marrying someone looking at the person first with the sole objective of getting married. It sound a bit weird but imagining the person by looking at the person’s photo is also weird. If you see my photo then I am just quite similar to a old Hindi picture villain. But then in a country like India where more than 80% marriages are arranged and successful too, you really cannot argue with the concept.
When I see those quite nice and beautiful girls on the sites, I really cannot understand how can these good girls not be married. If you are a good-looking girl and have your profile on the matrimony site I would like to know why? I don’t mean that the site should be filled with ugly duckling like me but still how can not somebody not fall for you?
So when another Valentine this year, I see those couples again and I really want to make that movie. As for me, the search is on for my “Shalini” (Shalini is just a representative name. It is not “THE” name) One day maybe I would be telling my “When Hari met shalini” story. Hopefully It ends on a good note but then staying alone really inspires me to such great ideas. I should really register that title.
All those couples out there, celebrate the togetherness today. Celebrate the love today!
As for the Singles, enjoy being alone, have fun. Believe me, Its still a privilege. After all you still have my Single’s guide to Valentine!