Quite a few coincidences happened in January 2002, actually prior to January 2002, in December 2001. First, The relation between her and her boyfriend went from bad to worse, second, she moved to Pune to stay near him, third, We came more close and had more opportunities to be together and the most deciding was I did not go abroad for a project because I did not have a passport.
I sometimes think what would happen if I had been on the plane to Europe in the December of 2001. Life, I guess would have been different, much different and I guess this blog wouldn’t have existed at all. In December 2001 I had completed just a little more than 1 year in the company and in our department, you never get an onsite opportunity so early or that is what I heard. So I never bothered to have my passport made.
Somewhere in November 2001, I was asked to prepare to fly for the project. I tried hard to get passport using the tatkal (emergency) scheme. However it didn’t happen and most people from my department and friends went for the biggest project of our department in those times. The big here was in the strength of the team which was close to 30 people.
When I was running around trying to get the passport made, I told her that I might leave for 3-4 months. She was tensed because the relation between her and her boyfriend was on a all-time low. Added to it, she had left Mumbai and was working as a hostess in a hotel in Pune. The move to Pune was to be more with her boyfriend. I talked to her to calm down and take it easy. I did not exactly approve her moving to Pune in the first place. She would get depressed when things did not go well and god knows what she would do that time.
Finally it was decided that I would not be going for the project. She came to meet me in the month of December. Together we visited the Marriage registration office to check out registered marriage procedure. That day the relation changed. We talked of things and life like we had never talked before. Prior to that day, we did talk about lot of things and issues. Topics for us was no issue at all because we talked about anything and everything under the sun. From absurd to the totally insane without inhibition. I was quite young then and shy too but I could talk everything with her.
I would flirt with her but after she visited me, I flirted more with her. Things were getting more serious from my side and she guessed it too. So whenever the situation would become more lovey-dovey she would invent some reason and cut the phone. It was becoming difficult for me to control my feelings and really stop myself to tell her what it was on my heart. I felt it strange because for three years I had known her, I did not feel anything for her except for a good friend but now I was falling in love with her. I was sure it was not infatuation because then it would have happened the day I met her.
But then there was the big problem of her being in love with someone else. Although I did not exactly like her relationship with him, I knew she was madly in love with him and she has always been in love with him from the time I know.
I don’t really speak my mind out. I have kept my feelings to myself unless I am sure that I am not going to be rejected or rebuked. I have seen too many rejection that way. It was the same fear that changed my life again years later. The same would have happened with her. I would have never asked her knowing fully well that it could ruin everything good between her.Things would have been different with us. But she knew me quite well and she was avoiding the question all together.
I tried finding reasons to talk to her. This was in 2001 when calling Pune was STD calls and it was quite costly to talk. I would spend close to hundred rupees daily to talk to her. First it was almost twice a week, then it increased to three and even four times a week. Mobile was also costly at that time and I did not have a mobile. So it was remembering her shift time, finding time from work and then finding a STD booth.
I wanted to know if she was interested in me and so I dropped hints. It was difficult to tell because we would shamelessly flirt with each other and I would not understand if she is flirting or serious enough. Then one day the flirting went far enough and I had to propose. In fact she extracted the proposal from me as she was tired of the cat and mouse game.
And then, all hell broke loose.