Two Years, One Month and Seventeen Days

Its just few hours from now, I will be on my way to India. It had been two years, One month and Seventeen days since I arrived in Amsterdam. Its been a long time and I mean a very long time. It feels a little surreal going back after a long time. In the last two years, I have adjusted quite well here and although my family is in Mumbai, I have my extended family here. It is as difficult to leave them as it was difficult to leave mom when I came here.

So have I changed after coming here? I don’t know. Maybe yes and maybe no. Every person evolves over a period. He experiences, he sees, and he learns from the experiences. Through all these experiences, the person changes gradually and slowly. Its like Darwin theory; Every species evolves to survive. Maybe I have also evolved over the years.

Over the last two years, I have learnt to look at life beyond work. The fact that this blog is still alive and kicking maybe a proof to that. I have come in terms with my past and my ghosts. I have finally accepted to move on, for better. I have found new friends. Some old friends have drifted apart or have they really? It may be a matter of time before I reconnect to them and establish the old bonds.

Mumbai has changed a lot and so I heard. I keep the ongoing in Mumbai through the newspapers but still experiencing a city like Mumbai, is an experience in itself. After all these years, hopefully the city has still retained its spirit, the reason I always fall in love with the city.

Two years back when I came here, I was a little afraid, afraid of the future. Although I live by the principle of “Let’s see”, new city, new people and staying far away from the family over such a long time was something I was not prepared for. When I came here, it was a life of uncertainties. I did not know where life was heading and how it was going to turn out. Today when I head back the feeling is no different. Its still a life of uncertainties and I have to admit, I may not be prepared for it, again. But then I was not prepared for these two years too. Ultimately its still is “Let’s see”. I was never the one who planned things.

The rest of my life I will always remember these two years. I will always remember these two years as “the days I was in Amsterdam”. I will return within a month but then I will remember these two years as the longest time I have spent away from home since I was born. Although things did not turn out exactly as I had planned and there is still a lot of “to do” stuff still in my list, the years were not bad. Actually it turned out to be quite good. And if I end up doing everything in my “To do” list, what is there to look forward to.

I am still not sure what the experience has taught me in the last two years but I was never that bright to understand. One day I would sit back and would smile and say “Those were the days”. A life of almost no responsibilities, no strings attached and no problems and yet with a little bit of responsibilities, strings attached and problems.

To tell the truth, I am not sure what’s going in my mind right now. It is a feeling of loss, sadness, hope, happiness and a lot more feelings I really cannot explain. Today Ranjana asked me how you feel. I could not answer. Because I did not know. I still do not know.

I feel somehow life is going for a big change, once again and I hope it turns out good. I really hope!

==============================

Note: Technically this is the last post for this year from Amsterdam. I started actively blogging when I came here and most of the posts are related to my life here.