Lage Raho Munnabhai (2006) – Bole toh Jhakaas

Jab pehli baar apun ko bola ki nayi filam ka review karneka hai toh apun ki khopdi satki. Kiske paas itna faltu ka time hai. Lekin Phir bola ki bhai ki picture hai toh apun na nahi na kar sakte. Lekin bhai ki picture ke baare main likhne ke liye thoda inteligence hona mangta hai na. Nahi toh bhai kidhar, apun kidhar.

Abhi jyada time khoti nahi kartay. Seedha point par aata hai. Toh bhai ka naya picture aayela hai, naam bolega toh “Lage raho Munnabhai”. Ekdum vantak naam dhoondla hai Hirani ne. Abe Hirani be, Rajkumar Hirani woh kya bolte hai dirdarshak, abe hindi main bolega toh, director re. Tum log na saala poora angrezi hogayela hai. Angrez chodke gaya par saala angreezi chod diya yahi.

Bhai ka pehle picture dekha na, abe wahich “Munnabhai M.B.B.S”. Yaad hai na! Nahi yaad hota toh deta mast kharcha pani tereko. Toh uska kya bolte hai, part 2 hai yeh. Matlab uska story ka second part nahi bolte hai. Woh uska naya story, ekdum naya. Matlab bhai wahi hai, aur apun ka circuit bhai bhi wahi hai, sirf baki ke log change hogayele hai. Matlab doosra role karela hai baba. Tum logo ko sab samjana padata hai. Toh story ekdum naya hai, ekdum matlab daru ke bhatti ke pehli dhar ki tarah fresh. Dhat teri ki, daru ki baat nahi karneka.

Toh yeh story main bhai, matlab Munna bhai wahich taporigiri karta rehta hai. Lekin kya hai na bhai ko ho jata hai pyar. Ladki se nahi, ladki ki awaaz se. Bhai bhi na! Toh Bhai ko pyar hota hai RJ se. abe RJ matlab radio jockey. Tum log bahut disturb karta hai. Toh kahan tha apun? Ha toh RJ ka naam hota hai Janhvi. Sahi naam hai na! Matlba bhabi ko suit karta hai na! Bhabi kaun? Abe wahi yaar Janhvi. Abhi bhai ki patni bhabi hui na! Yaar naam se bulakar marwayega kya mujhe.

Toh Munnabhai apni solid dimaag ka istemal karke na ek pratiyogta jeet tay. Abe competition be! Aaise mooh kholke dekhta hai ki poora vada pa nigal jayega. Abe mooh band kar. Apun aaj kal jara shudh hindi sikh rahela hai na. Ha toh kidhar tha apun. Ha toh bhai competition jeetkar jatay radio station aur wahan Janvhi bhabi ko dekhkar bhai ki wicket gool. Abhi janvhi bhabi aaisi vantaak item hai toh bhai ki wicket gool hoyegi na. Saala apun ka bhi jabaan kabhi kabhi fisalta hai. Sorry ha bhai! Toh wahan jakar bhai thoda jhoot bolta hai ki woh professor hai. Abhi meri maa bachpan main bolti thi, abe apun ka bachpan re, maa ke nahi. Toh maa apun ke bachpan main bolti thi apun ko ki ek jhoot bolega toh beta vaat lag jayegi, usko cover karneke liye aur jhoot bolane padega. Lekin kya karen, Bhai ko impression bananeka tha na. Abhi chota motha jhoot bola toh kya aasmaan main saala hole ho gaya.

Bhabi ekdum great ha. Bhabi ne bhai ko lecture dene ko bulaya, aur woh bhi kiske baare main, bole toh bapu ke baare main. Kiska bapu? Abe india ka bapu, bole toh Mahatma Gandhi be. Saala tera ko school jana padega. Toh bhai ke paas koi chara nahi hota, woh Bapu ke baare main saara padta hai, ekdum bole toh yeh badi badi kitaab. Poora information nikalta hai. Lekin saala udhar locha hota hai. Bhai ko bapu dikhai deta hai. Kasam se. Ekdum bapu poora costume ke saath. Sahi hai biddu. Toh bapu bhai ko bahut sikhata hai. Bhai kuch sunta hai kuch nahi sunta.

Abhi bhabi ek bade bangleey main rehti hai, apne baap aur 6 aur buddho ke saath. Abhi yeh bungla ekdum costly, bole toh bahut mehenga. Abhi ek builder hai, Lucky Singh. Usko saale ko bangla par nayi building banane ka hai. Toh woh bhai ko jhoot bolke bangle par kabza karta hai. Bhai ko fullto locha main dalta hai. Abhi bhai saala lafda bhi nahi kar sakta na? Ekdum poora locha bhai ka aur saala na circuit kuch karta hai na apun. Ek baar lafda karneka hai, kisiko dhopatne ka hai, haddi pasli ek karneka hai toh saala apun tayyar hai lekin dil ka mamle main apun ko itna experience nahi na. Toh Bhai help leta hai bapu ki. Bapu usko poora help karta hai. Aur itna simple help karta hai ki abhi kya bolega Bapu ekdum bada bhai hogela hai.

Toh aage kya hota hai, abe saari story mere se sunega toh theatre main kya dekhega, ghanta? Toh abhi poori story dekhne ka hai toh theatre main jane ka aur 2 ghanta mast timepass karke aane ka. Garantee deta hai ki saala bore nahi hoyega. Nahi toh saaala aaj kal ka picture, picture nahi KANK hota hai, mera matlab picture ke naam par kalank hota hai.

Abhi thoda detail main picture ke baare main. Abhi Sanjay Dutt ne bhai ka role bahut baar kiyela hai. Agar soyega na tab bhi bhai ka role bole toh apun ka Sanju baba. Lekin yeh role main kaisa, dil ka bahut aacha hai bhai. Koi aur yeh role karich nahi sakta. Munnabhai ki baat karega aur circuit bhai ka naam nahi aayega aaisa ho sakta hai. Abhi Arshad warsi bole toh ekdum jhakaas. aaisa acting karta hai arshad bhai ki kya bolega, ekdum khush kar deta hai. Kya serious joke marta hai. Kya acting karta hai. Bole toh, ekdum mast.

Abhi last time jo doctor J dot Astana bana tha na, abe kya naam hai uska be, ha, wahich Bomman Irani, woh isme Lucky Singh banta hai. Ekdum vllan mafik role hai uska. Lekin dil ka bhala hai. Ekdum poora Sardar. Abhi mereko samaj main nahi aata, yeh itne saare role sahi main kaise karta hai? bole toh manna padega. Aur saala last time hasta rehta tha na. Abhi woh photo nikalta hai. Ekdum sab bade log ha, matlab Amitabh Bachchan, George Bush aur sab bade log bus.

Aur Bhabi ke role main hai Vidyaaaaaaaaaaa Balan. Sorry ha thoda jyada ho gaya na. Woh Janhvi hai na, picture main aaisech chilati hai, “Good morninnnnnnnnnnnng Mumbai!” Apun jara jyada josh main aaya. Dikhne main bola toh mast, acting bola toh mast, bole toh sab mast mast. Abe mast mast toh Raveena thi na? Jaane de, ekdum smile deti hai toh, dil khalaas. Mera nahi be, bhai ka. Marvayega mereko?

Mahatma Gandhi banela hai apun na marathi manoos, matlab Dilip Prabhavalkar. Bahut saal pehle serial aata tha doordarshan par, chimaan rao. Ha usme jo tha na wahich hai. Ha abhi Bapu jaisa lagta nahi par ekdum door se dekhega toh bapuch lagta hai. Solid matlab solid. Makeup jara aacha karneka tha. Lekin acting mast hai biddu ka. Apun jaisa marathi hai na baap woh.

Aur bhi log hai usmain jaise Jimmy Shergill hai, yeh bande ko role mast dena mangta hai. Diya Mirza hai aur 6 ekdum old log hai. Sabka naam apun ko nahi maloom lekin woh bhi time pass hai. Aur ha, AB hai ekdum 2 second ke liye. AB bol toh chota AB bole toh Abhishek Bachchan baap. India main rahkar AB nahi maloom tere ko. Main glass laata hai tu doob mar.

Gaane bhi mast hai lekin bahut saare hai. Saala mood aaya toh inka gaana suru. Dimaag ka dahi saala.

Abhi Rajkumar Hirani ne mast picture likha hai. Aur direct bhi mast kiya hai. Thoda beechmain bore low hoyela hai. Ek baar laga vaat lagayega yeh. Par last main phirse sahi ho gaya. Sahi wale scene bole toh circuit aur bhai ki chemestry. Ekdum Jhakaas. Aaisa lagta hai ki dono sach main ekdum mast jante hai ek doosre ko. Apun toh saala poora picture smile de raha tha. Abe batisi nahi be, smile. Ha kabhi kabhi batisi dikhata tha lekin picture dekhega toh saala thobde par 12 nahi bajega. Hamesha ek smile rahega. Pehle part jaisa ekdum sahi nahi hai par itna bhi boora nahi hai. Apun toh ek do baar aur dekh sakta hai. Sahi main! Lekin apun ko samajta nahi “Yeh Jaadu ki jhapi” kahan gayi?

Abhi ismain apun ko lesson bhi milta hai. Lesson bole toh, sikh milti hai. Abe woh sardar wala sikh nahi be, Sikh bole toh lesson abe matlab aacha banneka, dukh nahi pahuchane ka, waisi baatein hoti hai na. Ha abhi aayi na tere dimaag main baat. Dimaag ka dahi bantay samjate samajate. Picture hai toh mast par lagta hai kuch locha hoyela hai, jaise bhai bolta hai na chemical locha. Picture main bahut log tha. Apun ko lagta hai. Apun ko thode he samajta hai yeh sab picture. Apun toh bhai ka picture dekhne ko gaya. Arre idhar amsterdam main pehli baar itni bheed dekhela hai theatre main.

Aur dekhega kyon nahi. Hai bi mast picture. Apun isko 10 main se 8 deta hai. Abhi thoda points kam kar diya hai bhai. Lekin na apun ka sar main bhi chemical locha hogayela hai. Sach bolerla hai saala. Maaf karna bhai!

Apun ko picture main samajata nahi. Kisiko apun ka baat pasand nahi aaya toh sorry. Pehle tere ko idharich kharcha pani de deta, lekin bhai ne bola hai “Hridday parivartan” huyela hai na. Apun bole toh “vinamrata” se baat karega. “Vinamrata” kaun? Abe “vinarmata” bole toh aadar se baat karega, tameez se. Saala jyada dimaag mat kha, tereko sach main kharcha pani dega.

Aur baki biddu log. abhi seedha uthneka, theatre janeka aur bhai ka picture dekhne ka. kya?

Jaane ke pehle woh deewar par ghadi dekhne ka. Nahi toh raat ko jayega.

Saala Show nahi hoga toh dekhega kya, Ghanta!

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